Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Beauty of Marriage

The Beauty of Marriage
Elyse Brownell

People often ask if I feel different
I weigh my body on his scale
yes. I say. but only in crowds

Remember when you first turned
the age of your end point?
and someone once asked you
if you felt different?

it’s not like that at all

It's like this:

While standing in Arizona
I loved him in Utah
he loved like the first time in Colorado

There is a shift now
as if my organs lifted up,
traded spots, my heart now my liver
I drink it full

The list of exes doesn’t seem to matter
the skin between the gap
doesn’t seem to matter
I am only his to scale

(Don’t write me into
a feminist snarl)

it’s okay to love
it’s okay to give your body away
it’s okay to forget about the first person
you ever loved

There will always be other pebbles
to collect inside
some heavier than others
some weightless, like driftwood
left on another shore

and you will want to turn them over
find out what the other side was
rotate to see what may be exposed

and you will want to
fall asleep next to them
one more time
touch the fracture you each created
one more time

and you may still want to
skip them across the flattened pond
a rupture of the flat line
he left you on

but all that matters
is the weight of my husband 
on the other side
of the bed

mine to scale.

 *inspired by Anne Carson's "The Beauty of the Husband"

No comments:

Post a Comment