Poetry holds meaning loosely like a rock in a sling. We let fly. The rest is out of anyone's control.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Sinkhole Book Release
The book release for Elyse Brownell's new book, Sinkhole will be held at Buchanan's Coffee Pub in Boulder, CO on Saturday, January 24, 2015 at 6:30PM. Books will be available for purchase. Other features include Eric Ranaan Fischman and musician Kevin Ventsias. See you there!
Thursday, December 11, 2014
The Beauty of Marriage
The Beauty of
Marriage
Elyse Brownell
Elyse Brownell
People often ask
if I feel different
now
I weigh my body
on his scale
yes. I say. but
only in crowds
Remember when you
first turned
the age of your
end point?
and someone once
asked you
if you felt
different?
it’s not like
that at all
It's like this:
While standing in Arizona
While standing in Arizona
I loved him in
Utah
he loved like the
first time in Colorado
There is a shift
now
as if my organs
lifted up,
traded spots, my
heart now my liver
I drink it full
The list of exes
doesn’t seem to matter
the skin between the
gap
doesn’t seem to
matter
I am only his to
scale
(Don’t write me
into
a feminist snarl)
it’s okay to love
it’s okay to give
your body away
it’s okay to
forget about the first person
you ever loved
There will always
be other pebbles
to collect inside
some heavier than
others
some weightless, like
driftwood
left on another
shore
and you will want
to turn them over
find out what the
other side was
rotate to see what
may be exposed
and you will want
to
fall asleep next
to them
one more time
touch the
fracture you each created
one more time
and you may still
want to
skip them across
the flattened pond
a rupture of the
flat line
he left you on
but all that
matters
is the weight of my husband
on the other side
on the other side
of the bed
mine to scale.
*inspired by Anne Carson's "The Beauty of the Husband"
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Pre-Order Elyse Brownell's new book Sinkhole
Elyse Brownell's new book Sinkhole won the 2014 Poetry Chapbook Contest by Monkey Puzzle Press. The book is now available for pre-order here.SEE A PREVIEW
Here's what's being said about Sinkhole:
"Elyse Brownell's Sinkhole is a poem-study of loss and the holes that define it (and us, more than we might like to admit). The poem moves in branching directions simultaneously and feels its way as present becomes past and remains an ache of absence in the next present. As the poem looks further into these holes, time opens, and the assumption that 'there is a bottom to memory' becomes questionable."
— Reed Bye, author of Catching On
"Sinkhole is a brilliant, lyrical, evocative exploration of the pain and loss trapped inside the sinkholes of every relationship. Elyse Brownell fearlessly furrows into those holes in search of a missing friend/partner/lover, the ‘you’ of the poems, but the bottom keeps falling away as one absence leads inevitably to another. Sinkhole is a profoundly ambiguous and lyrically haunting journey into the unknown."
— Bob Mayberry, Associate Professor, English, California State University Channel Islands
"There is a kind of writing or writer that is about living on the edge of what wants to be written: without reserve. Elyse Brownell went to the perimeter or brink of a sinkhole, for example, and lay down. What happens when you touch the inside of something that has no outside? How do you return? Jack Kerouac would have loved this book, I think. I did. It is a book from the heart, for you—and anyone else who wants to live wildly and all at once."
— Bhanu Kapil, author of Ban en Banlieue and Schizophrene
"Sinkhole is a beautifully concise poetic meditation on our modern condition, on news of sinkholes under our houses and on the ‘holes’ between us and through us. Elyse Brownell writes with wit and tenderness, integrating quotes from CNN and ABC News and from science, and finding poignant significance in how we try to connect with each other and make meaning. The opening epigraph, ‘it started in the bedroom, like so many things do,’ shows her underlying humor and psychology. These are imagistic untitled poems that accumulate by the short volume’s end to mean much more than the sum of the parts. We can try to ‘talk louder’ and scare away what frightens us, but Brownell walks to look right at our losses—singing them, mourning them, and celebrating them. I love this poetic debut and recommend it highly."
— Patricia Clark, author of Sunday Rising
Labels:
chapbook,
elyse brownell,
monkey puzzle press,
new books,
poetry,
sinkhole
Monday, October 20, 2014
Two Crows' Wedding Vows
Chris and Elyse got married on October 11, 2014 in Lyons, CO. Below are their vows as read and shared with their friends and family at Stone Mountain Lodge & Cabins. These vows were written separately over the course of their lives.
Chris' vows to Elyse
Dearest Elyse, I promise to sing you love’s sweet song; promise to honor your spirit, to never take you for granted, so now whisper to me promise of time past eternity, where we can sleep from now until then—head touching head hearts beat as one, holding hands in slumbered sleep still.
Raindrops falling from leaves to forest floor, a river’s flow across rocks, across the leavings of a life lived full—past carried in body becomes present, becomes now; becomes forever: today is the first day of my life, this simple life. So glad I didn't die before I met you.
Sing to me, lover, sing to me love’s sweet song:
Under eternity; under eternity; under e-ter-ni-ty . . .
A freight chain rolls through dark aspen valley, KC whistle moans, counterpoint to the yip of coyotes hidden in trees while you dream. A beer to start, tears in our eyes. Spoon on rock under yawning night sky, your wing in mine, crow, and tootled roses before the reveal. I promise you more mountains to climb, promise to fly with you, crow, to that grove and whisper quaking aspen golden secrets in October twilight, to sing you songs of waters always receding after the deluge:
The tune that is yours and mine to play upon this earth
We’ll play it out the best we know, whatever it is worth
What’s lost is lost, we can’t regain what went down in the flood
But happiness to me is you and I love you more than blood
Sing to me, lover, sing to me love’s sweet song:
As the bear sleeps, and Rumi yawls in the night the poetry of our dreams. You made me promise to not wait another lifetime to find you. That promise kept, I make another: I will never let you go; won’t leave you searching under pale sky, won’t leave you lonely for the rest of our lifetimes together. Divine wisdom decreed of us lovers of each other, just as amber attracts straw. There written in blood: you, born to be my bride.
I promise my love for you is real
Moves like this autumn breeze
I promise my love for you is strong
Lord, it brings me to my knees
Sing to me, Elyse, sing to me love’s sweet song:
Think of birds I kept . . . birds I set free . . . along the winding road of my life and I am struck, because all winding roads led me here. Thought all my wanderings were one barbaric yawp into a silent void, but I was wrong. Along the way I found a life of words, found a daughter calls me daddy; found my wolf watches over me at night. And out there on that old road the void sounded back: Fly home, crow, you whispered, and so I winged, made it back home: to you: the love of my life: my lovely Elyse: my Babi. You are the only one.
I promise to watch over you, to be your sentry when you are most vulnerable, when you bleed over the typewriter and pour phrase upon the page. I promise you words when you need them; I’ll promise silence when you don’t. Above all else, I promise to continue to do those things done since I set eyes upon thee: to make you laugh and sometimes to cry; to hold your hand; to dry your eyes; to be your best friend.
Sing to me, wife, sing to me love’s sweet song:
Under eternity; under eternity; under e-ter-ni-ty . . .
And now we hold the bonds of blessed union before those who would witness, them two crows about to become one. But really two crows have always been three, so take my hand with Delia between, your new family waits. Here I surrender you my heart; now I faithfully place it in your hands under eternity. Feel it beat, lover? It beats now in time with yours; it beats now because I love you.
Under eternity . . .
Elyse's vows to Chris:
Chris' vows to Elyse
Dearest Elyse, I promise to sing you love’s sweet song; promise to honor your spirit, to never take you for granted, so now whisper to me promise of time past eternity, where we can sleep from now until then—head touching head hearts beat as one, holding hands in slumbered sleep still.
Raindrops falling from leaves to forest floor, a river’s flow across rocks, across the leavings of a life lived full—past carried in body becomes present, becomes now; becomes forever: today is the first day of my life, this simple life. So glad I didn't die before I met you.
Sing to me, lover, sing to me love’s sweet song:
Under eternity; under eternity; under e-ter-ni-ty . . .
A freight chain rolls through dark aspen valley, KC whistle moans, counterpoint to the yip of coyotes hidden in trees while you dream. A beer to start, tears in our eyes. Spoon on rock under yawning night sky, your wing in mine, crow, and tootled roses before the reveal. I promise you more mountains to climb, promise to fly with you, crow, to that grove and whisper quaking aspen golden secrets in October twilight, to sing you songs of waters always receding after the deluge:
The tune that is yours and mine to play upon this earth
We’ll play it out the best we know, whatever it is worth
What’s lost is lost, we can’t regain what went down in the flood
But happiness to me is you and I love you more than blood
Sing to me, lover, sing to me love’s sweet song:
As the bear sleeps, and Rumi yawls in the night the poetry of our dreams. You made me promise to not wait another lifetime to find you. That promise kept, I make another: I will never let you go; won’t leave you searching under pale sky, won’t leave you lonely for the rest of our lifetimes together. Divine wisdom decreed of us lovers of each other, just as amber attracts straw. There written in blood: you, born to be my bride.
I promise my love for you is real
Moves like this autumn breeze
I promise my love for you is strong
Lord, it brings me to my knees
Sing to me, Elyse, sing to me love’s sweet song:
Think of birds I kept . . . birds I set free . . . along the winding road of my life and I am struck, because all winding roads led me here. Thought all my wanderings were one barbaric yawp into a silent void, but I was wrong. Along the way I found a life of words, found a daughter calls me daddy; found my wolf watches over me at night. And out there on that old road the void sounded back: Fly home, crow, you whispered, and so I winged, made it back home: to you: the love of my life: my lovely Elyse: my Babi. You are the only one.
I promise to watch over you, to be your sentry when you are most vulnerable, when you bleed over the typewriter and pour phrase upon the page. I promise you words when you need them; I’ll promise silence when you don’t. Above all else, I promise to continue to do those things done since I set eyes upon thee: to make you laugh and sometimes to cry; to hold your hand; to dry your eyes; to be your best friend.
Sing to me, wife, sing to me love’s sweet song:
Under eternity; under eternity; under e-ter-ni-ty . . .
And now we hold the bonds of blessed union before those who would witness, them two crows about to become one. But really two crows have always been three, so take my hand with Delia between, your new family waits. Here I surrender you my heart; now I faithfully place it in your hands under eternity. Feel it beat, lover? It beats now in time with yours; it beats now because I love you.
Under eternity . . .
Elyse's vows to Chris:
I have phrases and whole pages
memorized
But nothing can be told of love
You must wait until you and I
Are living together.
In the conversation we’ll have
Then…be patient…then.
-Rumi
It might have been you who brought me to Rumi
But it was Rumi that brought me to you.
Chris, You’re the “you” I've been writing to my whole
life. And now I write with you, next to
you, from you. But you mean more to me
than my poems. More than honey to a
buzz, more than sunlit mountain peaks, more than the elks bucking after the
drought, more than a night sky flooding over, more than a place where bones of
life are piled, more than laughter covering all of life’s terrible little
holes.
And though today is the day I literally have walked toward
you, I realize it was you I have been walking toward all along. And now we will walk together, side by side,
until we can no longer walk. And then we
will both listen for the caw of the crow and follow her down.
Some may say we might have met too late in our lives. Perhaps we’re too far gone, far too tired or
hurt to see what we have, to fully appreciate it. But I say we met at the right time, when we
were ready for each other, when I was ready to love this deeply. Although I can’t deny that sometimes I wish
to push time backwards, to have met you sooner, to then be able to love you
longer.
I promise to stand by you, laugh with you, cry with you,
fight with you, make love truer than poetry with you, never leave you or deceive
you and never stop the conversation of us.
You often remind me of a brief moment in time, when we
couldn't be together and I told you not to wait another lifetime to find
me. I meant what I said, but with no
agenda, no intention, just to let you know that it only took me seconds to
realize what a good man you are. And how
I knew, we were meant to find each other in this lifetime. And we have.
When I am with you, I am a better person, a better lover, writer,
friend, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, I am the best version of myself. And your daughter – our doodle, Delia –though
not mine, I know a part of her comes from me, and a part of me comes from her. I am forever changed and always changing and
growing because of her. My love sprouted
roots deeper than I could have ever planted alone allowing us to become
partners, to become a family, to become us.
Today I choose you, and tomorrow I will choose you again,
and every day thereafter. Chris, I will
love you forever. And if there is
eternity, I’ll love you there again. You
are my best friend, the love of my life, my collaborator, my other half.
I promise to hold onto you for as long as my body will let
me, for as long as time ends and starts again, until my fingers are dust and my
soul turns to water.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Elyse Brownell Wins Poetry Chapbook Contest
We Two Crows are happy to announce that Elyse Brownell has won the 2014 Monkey Puzzle Press Poetry Chapbook contest for her collection, Sinkhole. In addition to her first place winnings, Brownell's book is now forthcoming from the amazing editors at Monkey Puzzle. Be on the lookout for this amazing new work.
Check out the Monkey Puzzle Press website for the exciting details!
Check out the Monkey Puzzle Press website for the exciting details!
Friday, June 27, 2014
A Love Letter
A
Love Letter
Christopher Shugrue
February 1, 2014
Boulder,
CO
I
think of Neal Cassady. What if Jack had
never met you? Would he have written On the Road? Would Jack have taken to that ol’ road at all
without your letters to spur him on?
What if you had not been there to be his muse? Would Visions of Cody still be dangling in
the firmament, waiting on another time, another space to be born? What of Allen—who he without his cocksman of
Denver? Would his howl still shake city
walls? And if no Jack on the road, would
there be a school named after the man whose words you so inspired? Probably not and maybe good for them there on
the Arapahoe: then they wouldn’t have to
hide from the lineage made them famous.
Hello Jack Kerouac School: why do
you deny your lineage? Embrace your story and remember: it’s all about the writing. Oh Naropa:
Now that I am gone, will you deny my name when my words get out? Will you deny me because I am not “other” and
not worthy of a voice? Oh JKS: there is more to this world than feminism and
queer theory. Such worthy voices, yes,
so please let them sing, but why limit yourself to just those sweet tunes? Embrace Jack and Neal and Allen and for
fucks sake: teach a class on Anne
Waldman’s poetry: in this great future,
you can’t forget your past; you can’t deny your present. And when you’re done reconciling your demons,
let’s hit that mad road together . . .
Friday, May 16, 2014
Bouldering Poets: Tomorrow!
Two Crows is happy to announce: Tomorrow! Bouldering Poets celebrates its Two Year Anniversary. Come show your support at Trident Booksellers and Cafe in Boulder. The event is FREE and welcomes ALL AGES. The event features Alan Mudd, Teacup Gorilla, and Two Crows' own Christopher Shugrue. Bring CA$H as books from the features will be available. And after the features hit the stage, don't forget about the world famous Open Mic. Bring your poems, bring your barbaric yawps, bring your selves!
Two Crows is also excited that this event will double as the release party for Christopher Shugrue's new book, Straw Writes (Monkey Puzzle Press, 2014).
Come on out and support local writers, performers, and musicians! See you there!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Monster
Monster
Day 27
Elyse Brownell
If there was a way to come back
and stretch my body beneath this heavy light
I would do so until the rain subsides
and the flooding is over
and you are standing in your papery canoe,
afloat.
Lover, when you hold my hand
I am no longer in my own body
but rather, opening wide enough to
envelop the sea, to envelop the land
to take everything.
It isn't what we are it’s what we were:
the transference of energy asleep on
the shoreline, the movement of landscapes
beneath the sacred heaving of skin,
pushed aside, another hole to fall into.
I will find you again, if but only to
touch the silky vane, if but only to
remember what it was like
when our bodies were our own,
when the separation of atoms was something
tangible.
Labels:
elyse brownell,
love poems,
national poetry month,
poems
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Straw Writes Unveiled
We at Two Crows are proud to announce the release of Christopher Shugrue's new prose chapbook: Straw Writes!! The book was published by the great people at Monkey Puzzle Press and is now available for purchase here.
You can also read an interview with the author about the work here. Get your copy today and enjoy!
Praise for Straw Writes
Straw
Writes is nothing short of astonishing. The
ghosts of Walt Whitman and Allen Ginsberg weave through the text, and
Christopher Shugrue ably shows himself to be one of their literary heirs.
--Linda Tate, author of Power in the Blood: A Family Narrative
Christopher. P. Shugrue is an incredible
person. Have you heard him read? Try. It's an altering and
intense experience. To read his work, yourself, is to enter into a space
that is shattering something, always. And finding a way back. In
this sensitive and brave first book, Shugrue works hard to make sense of the
materials of war, and of the time that follows it. He considers the
memory that a person might build -- and loop -- in civilian life. The life
where you get to love someone and follow them a little bit of the way. He
is not afraid to write into the madness. What it means to go and not,
always, return. I am honored to write in support of this generous writer
who is -- as they say -- the real thing. I never knew what that actually
meant until I encountered Chris himself, as I hope you will one day.
-- Bhanu Kapil, author of Schizophrene
World
on fire, ghost winds, naked children in the American night, as a Whitmanic and
Ginsbergian ethos permeates the battleground of a Fallujah nightmare. This is the scape of Straw Writes, a hybrid text of conviction and urgency.
--AnneWaldman, author of Gossamurmur
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
A Poem Written As a Patent Application: First Attempt
An EXCERPT from A METHOD
AND APPARATUS OF ARRIVAL AND/OR DEPARTURE
Elyse Brownell
FIELD
The
presented poem is broadly directed toward what it means to arrive and what it
means to depart, as well as the steps and materials needed to leave. Such a
system will prevent entrapment, loneliness, and other mental conditions.
ABSTRACT
Presented
is one method and apparatus of arrival and/or departure having an aperture of
the space-time continuum for the sake of travelling from one location to
another location. Specifically, what are
the steps needed to take in order to come to the decision to leave one
location, to depart, and to arrive in another location, to arrive. Furthermore, what is contained in the
decision to leave said location, i.e., the heart, a hollow muscle or organ that
pumps blood throughout the blood vessels, among other methods. Further, further, this one method of arrival
and/or departure is one that could not be ignored, avoided, or prevented.
BACKGROUND
There
is that check-in that you must procure.
Which, if you think about it, you’re just reconfirming the confirmation
you’ve already made and if you’re not “checking” bags but rather carrying them
on your persons, then what is the point of the check-in? To Check-In: the process whereby a person
announces their arrival. Airport: I am
arriving. What it means to arrive. To
carry your body across point A to arrive at point B. With arrival comes the
departure, the departure of body, waiting, sitting still, crossing lands and
oceans. Fall asleep in one state wake up
in another. Insomnia. I am body awake beneath this dream. Lover, I am awake
beneath this realm holding your hand in another state. When we arrived we
departed. When we departed we
arrived.
The
following listing of claims will replace all prior versions/listings of claims
in the above-captioned poem:
What
is Claimed:
1.
A decision to leave, comprising:
a reason, consisting of:
i) a need to see
a person whom you have not seen in a long time, said time greater than or
directly equal to six months, said months comprising the Gregorian calendar of
months; and
ii) a want, a
feeling you cannot contain, like sunlight in a glass jar, like, holding a hand
a little longer, a little softer, said hand relative to the person whom you
have not seen in a long time, said time greater than or directly equal to six months,
said months comprising the Gregorian calendar of months;
monetary value greater than or
equal to the cost of your heart, comprising:
i) a hollow
muscle or organ that pumps blood throughout the blood vessels, relative to
cardiac, relative to emotion, directly comprising:
collections of de-oxygenated blood;
a mesh work of cardiac muscle cells; and
love: a variety of feelings, states, and attitudes.
2. The assembly of claim 1, wherein a
circumstance does not prevent a person from making said decision.
3. The assembly of claim 1, wherein the need is
not in direct contact with selfish reasons to arrive at said decision.
4. The assembly of claim 1, wherein the want
cannot be avoided at any cost, wherein the sunlight in a glass jar is a
metaphor but the holding of a hand is literal.
5. The assembly of claim 1, wherein the monetary
value is on a scale of USD and heart strings, of which are equivalent to the
relation of the amount of heart strings that will deteriorate if a person does
not make the decision to leave.
6. The assembly of claim 1, wherein the heart
remains inside the chest of the person who has made the decision to leave.
7. The assembly of claim 6, wherein the chest of
the person who has made the decision to leave, is located on said persons.
8. The assembly of claim 1, wherein the
composition of said heart is only an opinion made by the person who has made
the decision to leave.
9. A method and apparatus of arrival, comprising:
an aircraft assembly unit containing
passenger seats for said person who has made the decision to leave; and/or
a motor vehicle containing a
seat for said person who has made the decision to leave;
fuel;
monetary value greater than or
equal to the cost of your heart;
the desire to arrive, consisting
of;
i) the act of coming
to or reaching a place;
ii) someone or
something that has come to a place; and
iii) the time
when something begins or happens.
10. The method of claim 9, wherein said aircraft
assembly unit abides by the terms required by aviation safety, specifically:
the theory, investigation, and categorization
of flight failures;
the prevention of such failures
through regulation, education, and training;
various campaigns to inform the
public as to the safety of air travel; and
the passenger who is standing in
the row adjusting their carry-ons after the captain has turned on the fasten
seat belt sign, and the passengers have been informed it is no longer safe to
move about the cabin, does not exist.
11. The method of claim 9, wherein said motor
vehicle, comprises:
a self-propelled wheeled vehicle
that does not operate on rails;
the vehicle propulsion is
provided by an engine or motor;
is identified within a number of
vehicle classes; and
the operator of said vehicle is
either the person who has made the decision to leave or is the person who was
convinced by the person who has made the decision to leave either by monetary,
sexual, neighborly, and the like, gestures.
12. The method of claim 9, wherein the type of
fuel is the preferred specialized type of petroleum-based fuel used to power an
aircraft.
13. The method of claim 9, wherein the monetary
value is on a scale of USD and heart strings, of which are equivalent to the
relation of the amount of heart strings that will deteriorate if a person does
not make the decision to leave.
14. The method of
claim 9, wherein the time when something begins or happens is relative to the
location of arrival, directly opposite from the location of departure.
15. The method of
claim 14, wherein said location is directly relative to the end result to the
decision made by the person to leave.
16. The method of
claim 14, wherein said location is directly relative to an infinite number of
results to the decision made by the person to leave.
Labels:
arrival,
departure,
different forms,
elyse brownell,
patent poems,
travel poems
Thursday, April 3, 2014
TWO EVENTS Friday April 4, 2014
Two Events in Boulder
Boulder Arts Week &
NoBo First Friday Art Walk
Friday, April 4, 2014
6:30 & 7:15
Elyse Brownell & Steve O'Bryan
1740 Linden Avenue
7:45 & 8:30
Chris Shugrue, Stefka Trusz, and Kathi Sutton
1510 Zamia #102
Labels:
boulder arts week,
chris shugrue,
collaboration,
elyse brownell,
flyer,
poetry,
reading
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
EB's Response to "My Skeleton" by Jane Hirshfield (Poet-to-Poet)
Ode
to the Hole-Punch
Elyse Brownell
My
hole-punch,
sitting
on the mahogany surface
awkward
in stature.
Your
origins date back to Germany,
1886,
designed to “punch holes in paper”
your
founder, Frederich Soennecken,
treated
you with such care, precision,
after
the invention of a paper, Nietzsche
himself
wrote to other poets,
declaring
the paper’s top quality
to
write on
and
now, a hole-punch,
created
to punch holes
in
such paper, to allow
the
acco of breath, to suspend
data
in portfolios —
organization
is your primary purpose,
utility,
but a design patent is where
you
began.
Centuries
later, mass-produced
and
landing on my desk,
an
office tool I rely heavily on:
black
ceramic skin, a lever used
to
push a bladed cylinder straight
through
sheets of paper
through
Soennecken’s original thought
creating
space for more ideas,
more
metal prongs, protruding through bodies,
combining the elements.
Palm
flat on your lever,
paper
placed between the long silver guides
running
through your core
and
I press down,
a
slow creak from your springs
and
you recoil
producing
two, perfect circles
placed
apart evenly, accurately,
ready for placement
and
I wonder:
how
many hands have touched you?
paraded
you?
relied
on you?
complained
about you?
forced
weight upon you?
only to leave remains of paper
in
your belly—
a silver sliding door beneath you.
Do
you miss each one of them
a mother
to their child—
After
all, it is you
who
created such perfect
round,
holes.
In response to "My Skeleton" by Jane Hirshfield
Labels:
elyse brownell,
jane hirshfield,
my skeleton,
national poetry month,
odes,
poet to poet,
poetry,
work poems
Monday, March 24, 2014
EB's Response to "Fast Break" by Edward Hirsch (Poet-to-Poet)
Four
Square
Elyse
Brownell
For Jadee (1983-2011)
She
hit the ball out of turn,
sending
it past the boundaries of the chalk drawn lines,
she
was out, and Melinda was up next,
making
her wide stance known, her large hands hanging
at
her side, I spun the rubber skin on the tip of my finger,
called
out the rules: “no returns” I said, pointing to Beth,
who
is the smaller of the four of us, with less hand-eye coordination,
with
a fear of Melinda’s hands, with a fear of returning the ball,
beyond
the lines, a falling of hands pushing the ball began,
back
and forth, one bounce in square one,
another
in square three, and onto Melinda, in square four,
in
the upper right-hand corner, fully intentional, fully knowing
she
is left-handed, she reaches out across the line and taps
the
ball to square one, where I am standing, I lunge forward
to
prevent the second bounce in my square, but miss
causing
the ball to roll off of Beth’s foot and tumble
into
the brick wall behind us, which responds
back
to the rubber ball, and sends it out across the street
rolling
down the hill, jumping up from hitting rocks,
and
the tires of the cars lining the street,
ending
in a gutter near the stop sign and wobbling into
the
dip, until Beth retrieves it,
“Nice
one, Liz,” Melinda’s hands say,
I
exit the squares to take my place at the back of the line,
“you’re
out,” she insists, just as Beth
returns
with the ball, dribbling it a few times with
a new sense of confidence since before she left
to
retrieve the ball, “I’m in square one, now” Beth announces,
Jeremy
jumps into square four, and I stand off to the side,
“black
jack” Beth says, “you can’t do that” Melinda says,
“watch
me,” Beth says, and calls “game on” before bouncing the
ball
to Jeremy in square four, who sends it to Cheryl in square two,
back
to Beth, who twists her hands to throw off Melinda,
in
square three, but Melinda sends it back to Beth, who catches it,
the
sound of the ball in Beth’s hands echoes against the brick wall
silence
falls over every mouth in line, waiting their turn to beat Melinda,
“black
jack,” Beth smirks, “no way!” Melinda cries,
“sorry,
those are the rules, I called it,” the rest of the kids
standing
in line ahead of me cheer, as Mega Melinda has been defeated,
but
this time she seems smaller, her back hunched over as
she
crosses the boundaries outside of the game, I watch her
kick
a pebble into the grass as her head hangs low, her hands
in
her pocket, I feel a pull toward her and place my hand on her shoulder
“it’s
okay, Melinda, it’s just a game,” she looks up from the ground
shifting
her focus onto me, she begins to cry, and hugs me,
our
bodies pressed into each other, not realizing the ball
is
rolling around us, has stopped against my heel, and stays there,
as
time stands still and I am left with the news of her death
fifteen
years later, trying to recall a single memory that occurred
after
four square, like our prom, or sitting in her room
surrounded
by posters of boy bands, declaring which of the five men
were
our boyfriends, thinking, at the time, that no other moment could possibly
be
worse than finding out that one of the boy band members has a girlfriend,
or
nothing could possibly get any better than finding out that the yellow-haired boy
that
sits in front of you in math class, thinks about you too,
but all
I can recall is the sound of the ball on the concrete that day
the
way she hugged me, and stopped being Mega Melinda,
but
rather a friend, a teammate, to someday become a wife, a mother, and now,
merely, the dust kicked up by a ball bouncing somewhere, without a sound.
Glimpse
Elyse Brownell
for Jadee
for Jadee
Even now, after thinking about you for days,
I am no closer to finding you.
I stand in a room and summon your memory
but come up empty-handed, left with
carbon copies of your face in photographs
left with a still-frame of us in the basement,
the lower ceilings we resided under,
your father in his recliner with the volume on the TV
too loud, the walls of your bedroom covered with
posters of our favorite bands, your carpet, matted,
stains of make-up, nail polish, and paint chippings,
the threshold to the back room, burgundy concrete floors,
the full-length mirror, the lighting in your bathroom,
the sound of the front door, the smells in the kitchen,
and your bedroom floor, rolling cigarettes,
drinking wine coolers, trying to decipher the day’s problems.
did we ever talk about death (?) after we heard that statistic from
our guidance counselor about the 1 and 4 odds of making it to our ten year reunion.
I wore black that day.
I said your name at least twice.
I wished the red wine
was actually a wine cooler and we were back in the basement
hiding from the outside world, together.
But the room I stand in isn't at all a place where I can ever find you,
even if I hold 1,000 photographs and try to talk to each one,
that’s all anyone is after they’re gone.
I can’t hear your laugh in my ear, or the sound of you knuckles
each one cracking louder than the next.
I can only hope that the sound of the heater turning on,
or the blinds against my window sill swaying for no reason,
is the passing of our memories, a passing that can only
be captured by the smallest glimpses of your light;
In response to:
"Fast Break"
Edward Hirsch
Labels:
elegy,
elyse brownell,
fast break,
poet to poet,
poetry
Thursday, March 20, 2014
EB's Responses to "Five Directions to My House" by Juan Felipe Herrera (Poet-to-Poet)
To prepare for National Poetry Month, we have decided to partake in the Poet-to-Poet challenge. Though the guidelines specifically indicate the challenge is for grades 3-12, we can't miss an opportunity to be inspired. Rather than enter our poems (since we can't), we will post them here! More about the challenge here.
Visiting Lake Superior
Elyse Brownell
- Return, again, to attend the ballet of Heliades across the blue-stained glass floor.
- Walk along her shoreline, her softness pulled up around your toes as you sink into her body.
- Feel the openness of her, an endless space, waiting beneath the curve of the Porcupine Mountains.
- Rest, face her, watch the memories play back on reels of your father's fishing lines: late baths on warm summer nights; a plunge through her shell with the other polar bears; the Northern Lights (she welcomes them new again each time); her vacancy, after the fall, so many times.
- Leave her as you found her, like an infinite lover you’ll always return to.
Directions to a Memory
Elyse Brownell
- Return to the playground where someone threw rocks at your brother after he told them to leave you alone.
- Leave the park, there, your brother, standing still holding another pointed rock in his palm.
- Reach the top of the hill, just enough to see the boys standing still, like Risk pieces before the war began.
- See your brother fall, like the wind knocked him over, as sudden as a picture frame falling down.
- Run down the street, further away from water, though every direction you are standing closer.
- Enter through the white screen door, calling to your mother, to hurry, to come see, to forget her purse, for now.
Can We Return?
Elyse Brownell
- She is waiting for you on the porch where you stood kissing your first love.
- Mother, I have come home again, so you can take care of me, if but just for one week.
- Lover, when I walk these streets I don’t think of you, for the first time, since we met.
- I am standing near the railroad where we crossed the rails just months before the ink dried.
- Silver spawn, flock to me, land on a branch, nibble on some berries, I will be there soon.
- Remember the playground where we were stuck for hours? Remember the tether ball?
- I still remember the way the icing tasted on my pink ninja turtle cake after the goose hunt.
In response to:
"Five Directions to My House"
Juan Felipe Herrera
Labels:
elyse brownell,
juan felipe herrera,
lake superior,
memory poems,
national poetry month,
poet to poet,
poetry
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